I have been blogging for over a decade. This is, in fact, my fifth blog. They always start in much the same way, with just a handful of my friends reading, and then, eventually, I realize there are people I don’t know reading, and that they may wonder who I am.

So then I do the polite thing and introduce myself. And that’s what I am doing now. Hi.

I am thirty-two years old, and the mother of three girls, ages fifteen, thirteen, and ten. Yes, I know you just did the math in your head. Yes, I was that young when I had them! Yes, they all have the same father. Yes, we were married! For over fourteen years, in fact.

2009 was one of the most painful, traumatic years of my entire life, and believe you me, I have had some trauma in my life. No worries, though. I welcomed 2010 with open arms, and thus far, although it has not been without its own issues, it has been a much, much better year. Life is good to me.

I have been separated since last July. Enough said about that. Really.

I am a midwife. This is my calling and life purpose. I have only been licensed since May, but this isn’t my first lifetime doing this gig. I am lucky enough to work with one of my best friends, whom I love, trust, and respect more than just about anyone else on earth. How many people can say that of their co-workers or business partners? My clients are some of the most lovely people you could hope to meet. I am fairly blissed out by the whole deal.

I have an amazing soul family of friends, and some of them blog, too.

I have a deep love and appreciation of hands, and can tell pretty much everything I need to know about a person by taking a good look at their hands.

I don’t get bored. Ever. Well, okay, maybe back in the 90s, when I was a teenager, but it has been many, many years. Recently, during a long labor, I had a client say to me, “I wish you had brought a book or something. You must be bored.”

I was so perplexed that it took me a moment to comprehend and answer. It was as though she was speaking a language with which I was only vaguely familiar.

I did a long stint with the Hare Krishnas, and although I eventually left the religion, I have a deep love and respect for them, and the way my life changed due to my involvement with them. It was a key experience in my personal evolution. I am still deeply sentimental about the Vaisnava sect of Hinduism, and incorporate much of it into my life. Oh, and I kept the Sanskrit name.

Speaking of Sanskrit names, once I am legally divorced, I am going to legally change my name, first and last. It is exhausting to constantly have to explain to people why I go by one name and have a different one on anything of legal significance.

For the past several years I have considered myself to be more in alignment with Zen Buddhism.

I really love green olives.

I am an extremely high-touch person. I prefer to be in direct physical contact with at least one other human being nearly all of the time. This makes me very well suited to my job, an excellent caregiver of small children, a sappy friend, an attentive lover, and extremely uncomfortable to be around for people who are low-touch or made uneasy by being around affectionate people. I do tend to read people very well, though, and adjust my personal boundaries accordingly.

I talk a lot about starting up a regular yoga practice again. Uh huh. I sure do talk about it.

I have two tattoos. A black OM symbol under my belly button, and a massive back piece of a tree, with a solitary star above it.

I love sex. A lot. Maybe more than anyone else you have ever met.

My favorite advice for clients? Have a lot of sex. Eat a lot of quinoa. Drink a lot of water. Have a lot of sex. Love, love, love.

I love the Ocean with a religious reverence.

And my creaky old porch swing is my own personal temple.

I am queer.

I tried to go to bed nearly two hours ago, and after staring at the ceiling for almost an hour, I finally surrendered to my wide awake state, got out of bed, took a shower, paid my seriously overdue cable bill, and started writing. I have to be up to start my day in exactly two hours and forty-nine minutes. At this point it seems pretty ridiculous to consider going to bed at all.

I am either the most introverted extrovert or the most extroverted introvert you will ever meet. I am an absolute walking contradiction in this arena.

My house has an open door policy, and it is a rare day that goes by without at least one person who doesn’t live here paying a visit. Not that I spend all that much time here myself, but when I am here, oftentimes visitors are, too.

I think I have only washed my car once in the past year. When my kids were younger, I told them that people in Arizona don’t wash their cars, and for awhile they believed me. Then they figured out that by people in Arizona, I really just meant me.

Due to situational insomnia, I have seen more sunrises in the past year than I have in the whole rest of my life combined.

I am beginning to think sunrise is overrated.

However, the moments right before sunrise? When the sky is just starting to get the tiniest hint of light, and it bleeds into the surrounding landscape? Ahhh. That is my favorite moment of the whole day, where I find complete and total peace, and feel At One With.

Sometimes my own thoughts crack me up so much that I laugh out loud when I think them. Then I worry that people will think I am crazy. And maybe I am, because who finds themselves that entertaining? I can’t help it, I am funny, and the world is a very amusing place, full of amusing things.

I don’t own a microwave (by choice), and I don’t watch tv. I especially don’t watch the news.

Suburbia skeeves me out. I either need to live in the heart of a city, beside the beach, on a farm, or in the woods.

I was once voluntarily homeless for the better part of a year, tent camping for some of it, and living in a teeny tiny RV for the other part. I had all three of my kids, and they were ages six and under. It was not without struggles, but overall it was a very enriching growth experience, and one that I would repeat. My then husband had a shirt and tie sort of office job at the time.

I grew up in Indiana, and never wish to return.

Autumn is my favorite season. We don’t have a real autumn here, and I really miss it.

I am a hardcore minimalist, and purging my life of unnecessary possessions brings me great joy.

I consume more caffeine than should be legal.

I have a very hard time making myself drink water.

I feel guilty when I see police officers, even though I am not breaking any laws. Plus, they make me extremely nervous.

I find long fingernails, and especially fake long fingernails disgusting.

Actually, I am not big on fake anything.

To say I have a “type” I am attracted to would be an understatement, though the similarities would escape most people.

Financially speaking, I am currently dirt poor.

I am relationship rich.

I have everything I need.

There. I’m as simple as that.